Is it Really true محبة and مودة ?

As Muslims, we are forbidden to have relations with the opposite gender. It is haraam for us to talk to, phone, or even text our Ghair-Marhams. But, however, this law has been neglected for many years now as dating has become a common trend amongst muslims, young and old.

The trend that is currently at play, especially amongst teens, is that of dating a pious girl or guy. Girls now think that pious guys with a beard and a kurta are attractive. And guys feel the same way about pious girls in cloak and scarf.

And so it starts.. The corruption of the pious youth in our community as the opposite gender drool all over them. Eventually, all is lost when shaytaan whispers in the ear of that youth. Sometimes, its a pious teen dating a totally rebellious teen, or sometimes, its two pious youth dating each other.

What's worse about this 'pious dating' is that the two involved sometimes believe that their relationship is permissible because of their piety. They feel that what they have is true love as they bring each other closer to Allah, and therefore think that they are exempted from the islamic 'no-dating' rule.

Basically, they are investing in each other for the future when they can finally make their relationship halaal by means of Nikah.

SCENARIO: a 16year old Hafez, reads all his Salaah on time, good Muslim at heart, forbids evil and enjoins good, respect his parents and follows all commandments of Allah.

PROBLEM: he starts chatting to a pious girl from school and eventually, they become good friends. She's the only girl he talks to, and he's the only guy she talks to. Their conversations are of utmost respect, and most of their conversations are about matters of Deen.

QUESTION: is this type of relationship/friendship permissible?

Although this type of relationship may seem rather healthy and beneficial to both parties concerned, it is still very much unpermissable.

In a hadeeth, the Prophet Muhammad (saw) states something to this effect:

"Whenever a man is alone with a woman, Satan is the third among them."

We learn from this that regardless of the connection or relationship situation a guy and a girl may have, as long as they are not married, shaytaan is always with them and Allah is very much displeased. And how can you be in a relationship that grew under Allah's wrath.

Allah says in the Qur'aan:

"Do not come near fornication, for it is indeed lewdness and an evil life-style” (17- 32).

Dating without marriage falls under the definition of fornication. And from the above ayat, we see that Allah warns us to not even come near fornication, which means that we should avoid doing anything that might lead to such an act which is disliked by Allah.

Islam does not prohibit women and men from talking to one another, but asks that they practice modesty and remain within the limits that Shari'ah has assembled.

I recently got a picture from the internet and I found it so true and beautiful. It said:

"The best love is when you love someone who makes your Imaan rise, who makes you more pious and who helps you here in the Dunya because that person wants to meet you again in Jannah"

Do you think that the girl/guy you are head over heels for cares about your hereafter?

Do they even care about your Imaan?

How can they increase your piety when they are helping you commit a sin that could cause you your Jannah?

Do they love you enough to wish Jannah for you... For both of you?

Is the feeling of butterflies in your tummy, or the feeling of your heartbeat racing when they talk to you more important then your yearning for Jannah?

These are questions that should go through your head every time you think about 'him' or 'her'.

These are the questions you should ask yourself when you are reading your Salaah and your phone rings and you know its that one 'special' person.

In fact, these are the questions you should ask that person when they tell you how much they love you and how they would do anything for you.

We should understand that this world is but a journey, a journey to our final abode. And therefore, everything we do in the Dunya should be a means of helping us reach our final destination. There is nothing wrong with falling in love, but when we do, it should be carried out in the proper manner for the pleasure of Allah and it should be love that will bring us closer to our Jannah.

Because true love is when a husband and wife enter paradise together... That is the true love you should work for.

*Shira Sudi*